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RIOS SPA “REVIEW”: I Ended Up In a Sex Sauna in London! By Accident.

In BLOG, ENGLAND, EUROPE, FUN CORNER, SPICY VACATIONS & TRIPS by Clelia Mattana155 Comments

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HOW A RELAXING DAY TURNED OUT TO BE MY PERSONAL NIGHTMARE AT RIOS SPA “SEX SAUNA” IN LONDON

WARNING: this read is for an adult audience only (sort of!)


Last Updated: 31st December 2019 (new year’s resolution? Read on!)

 

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER ABOUT ME AND SEX:

 

sex-hotels-clelia hotel Q!

The amazing package we chose at the Hotel in Berlin. We had a full night on our own in their SPA facilities. Including a Sauna, a beach (yep!) steam room, gym, and Japanese showers. IN ONE WORD: AWESOME!

If you read the messages from Rios Spa fans (even an ex-employee landed here!) I’ve been called a nun,  a repressed sad person, and whatnot. Well well, this “sexy” London sauna story happened approximately in 2011 and now I’m about to review one of the most sensual and exciting experiences ever in a Berlin’s Hotel, how things change huh?!

Stay tuned because if you love Rios Kentish Town you might also love this Hotel. No swingers but for couples is fabulous!

Furthermore, another post about the best sex hotels and “clothes optional” full inclusive resorts around the world is on the way (and I bet you want to read that!) Cheers from the nun 😀 

In more than 20 years of living abroad, I saw a few interesting things, but the story I’m about to tell you will beat them all.

 

Now back to the old story, I’ll obviously leave it as it was! Still funny as hell for me to remember the day I was abruptly  “introduced” to the swinger’s lifestyle 😀 

 


PREMISE: I’m the most reserved person you could ever meet. The only time I dared a topless on a beach was at age 17. My cousin promised me 100 euros if I were brave enough to walk out of the water with my E cup breasts showing.

It was horrible.


I lasted 15 seconds ending up running to my towel, with my hands trying to cover my breasts (to no avail). Given the premises, how in hell I ended up in a nudist-sex- Sauna? The short answer is: because I’m totally, utterly naïve!


clelia-covering-her-breasts-no-topless-policy

PRETTY MUCH THE SAME… BUT ON A BEACH. AND RUNNING LIKE THE DEVIL WAS CHASING ME.


Longer answer: A typical Saturday night in London. Bored as hell, I decided to join a friend at a sauna birthday party. The day before my friend had been almost run over by a car. The guy pulls over to make sure she was Ok. After chatting for a few minutes, he asks her to join him at a Sauna party.


Fast forward to the weekend: I put a bikini and a towel in my bag and meet her at the tube station. Destination: a mysterious SPA called “Rios” in Kentish Town (London). While everyone here seems to know Rios Spa, I was clearly not one of them. 

 


 

 

THE SAUNA/SPA: WELCOME TO RIOS KENTISH TOWN- LONDON

Rios-spa-Kentish-Town-london-entrance

 


I was fooled into it, as both Rios entrance and changing rooms had nothing to be suspicious about. I was greeted by a very nice and clean place. A pretty sizeable room with a maxi screen that was streaming Wimbledon’s semi-finals, and around ten “beach beds”, where a few people, wrapped in towels, were relaxing while watching tennis.

And then, we enter the bar: It’s been like someone had just pushed me into an ice-cold pool without any warning.


The bartenders were two flashy topless girls. I discovered soon enough that they were actually naked, but the bar covered this detail. Note: To Rios Spa ex-employee who commented below saying that they were not fully naked, well… this is what I saw. And I don’t imagine vaginas uncovered where there are not 🙂  To be clear: I’m not insulting your vaginas,  I have it too, I just want people to know exactly what I saw. 


Not only were they topless, but they also looked like porn stars. I was puzzled and I gave a glance at my friend, laughing nervously. She was clearly as surprised as I was. Everyone in the room was naked. I started to hyperventilate not knowing what to think. The only clear thought that I had at this point was:  I’m not going to remove my leopard printed bikini! 


 
You will never see me naked!!

You will never see me naked!! (and that’s never going to change) 


We didn’t dare to ask the two guys anything about it, they were still behaving normally, like we were in a bar in central London, with fully dressed people and businessmen all around.


It’s one of those moments when you sense something is not quite right but you just stay there as a broccoli plant.


SAMANTHA JONES AND BEING A PRUDE -RIOS-SPA-REVIEW

SAMANTHA WOULD HAVE BEEN THRILLED. I’M NOT SAMANTHA 😉


After sipping a glass of water (no, thanks, I won’t drink any wine to get drunk here) we entered the Spa: 2 big Jacuzzi, 1 swimming pool, 2 saunas, and showers. Nothing special was going on. There were a few naked couples inside the pool but they were relaxing and talking normally.


I started thinking that maybe I was overreacting to the whole nudity thing. I chose an almost empty Jacuzzi trying to forget all about that madness. Nobody asked me to take my bikini off after all. I felt safe. I only noticed a few sneaky and seductive looks, but I didn’t really pay attention to it. I closed my eyes and let the bubbles do their job.


When I re-opened them, a few minutes later, I deeply regretted it.



RIOS SPA: SEX, SWINGERS AND A NAIVE GIRL

HOW-A-FUNNY-GRANDMA-WOULD-REACT-AT-RIOS-SPA-LONDON

 


The couple in front of me was clearly engaged in a naughty hand game under the water. I could clearly see the guy’s fingers busy in giving pleasure to the woman, and her satisfied face and fast hip movements were a clear confirmation of what was already too obvious. The strange thing (for me at least) was that they weren’t even trying to cover what they were doing, on the opposite, they seemed to gain even more pleasure by the fact that everyone could see. Especially me.


She must have seen me, gawking at her, so she smiled in a seductive way winking at me more than once while biting her lips. I started getting more and more uncomfortable, and I tried to turn my attention elsewhere.


Something similar was going on in the swimming pool next to mine, where a 40-year-old woman was passionately kissing her husband? (I wasn’t sure of anything at this point) while touching another guy underwater at the same time.


OK, I had seen enough. Now I was sure this was a “special night”. Honestly, I didn’t even know that such things could happen in a SPA. But there I was, in the middle of this “sexual paradise!”


So what I was supposed to do now? run away as fast as possible? stay? call mommy?! I was genuinely curious so I decided to stay and see how far this thing could go. As long as the sexual acts didn’t involve me.


QUOTE-ABOUT-SEX-LOVE-FEELINGS-OLD-FASHIO-LADY

YUP, ONE MAN AT A TIME AND NO ONE NIGHT STANDS FOR ME. LET ALONE SWINGING. NOT FOR ME AND NOT JUDGING. JUST OLD FASHION.


Most of the people in the sauna must have assumed that being there, we were also part of the game. I didn’t consider this detail, as I was too busy trying to understand what was going on. Given that the woman in front of me was now moaning quite loudly, I decided to leave the pool to look for my friend who had disappeared in the meantime.


I entered the first empty sauna I found, trying to relax a bit, but all I could do was laughing at myself for the situation I had put myself into. I reluctantly went back to the pools when it was already 8 pm. Most of the people were already gone upstairs where Rios provides the special “massage rooms”, aka “Sex Rooms”.

I had no idea how they organized the whole sexual thing, and whether they had common rooms, private ones or both. I didn’t dare going upstairs to have a look. And it was pretty quiet too, I couldn’t hear sounds or moaning or anything. The Jacuzzi pools were empty and I sneaked into one, hoping to be left alone.


That didn’t last long. A young couple decided to join me (the other Jacuzzi was empty so I guess they wanted some company). They were wearing a swimsuit so I thought that maybe they were there by accident, just like me.


How naïve! After five minutes I felt a hand touching me very inappropriately. The guy was smiling at me while rubbing his hand between my legs. I was about to slap him, but considering the situation, I refrained myself and gave him a killer look. I took his hand and put it back where it belonged, as I wanted to make clear that I wasn’t part of the game.


man-running-my-reaction-at-rios-spa-london-funny-sex-story-review


He thought I was playing hard to get, in some sort of exciting sexual game, and he gave it another try This time on my breasts. That was enough.


I rushed out of the pool, leaving the couple giggling while clearly making fun of me, I finally found my friend, sitting in a sauna chatting with an older man about politics, grabbed her arm telling her that I wanted to leave. NOW.


THE TAKEAWAY OF MY (NOT) SEXUAL ADVENTURE AT RIOS SPA:


MASSAGE-SPA-CLELIA-RIOS-SPA-REVIEW

THIS IS NOT RIOS, IT’S ANOTHER PLACE IN ITALY WHERE I SHOW YOU WHAT I CONSIDER A RELAXING AFTERNOON 🙂


On my way back home, thinking about all the things I saw, the naked bodies, people having sex in front of everyone, I started laughing. I just couldn’t believe that a relaxing Saturday afternoon just turned into that embarrassing sex experience. It was funny to realize how naïve I still was in my thirties. I felt such an amateur!

 

Coming from Italy, our culture and open-mindedness in regards to sexuality are quite different and we have a different perspective on things (Thanks to the Vatican mostly), so don’t tell me I’m an idiot for not having recognized what I was getting into.

 

In London, you can go by yourself to a sex shop in the center during the day and no one pays attention to you. Try doing that in Italy and you’d be labeled forever as the “perverted neighbor”. Such is our culture.


I don’t think I will be going to another place like Rios again. I’m open-minded enough to be glad that people who want to experience such sexual experiences have the right places to go, but I’m an old repressed nun (or so I’ve been called in some of the comments below) and proud of being the way I am. And which way I am exactly? None of your business 😉


FUNNY-MEME-ABOUT-SE-STANDARDS

ENOUGH SAID! 🙂 I’M NOT A NUN NOR A SLUT. WE ARE WHO WE ARE. AND I LIKE KEEPING MY SEXUAL LIFE OUT OF THIS WEBSITE.


In the end, I was glad that I stayed and to have discovered this “new world”. Plus, the story has now become one of my friend’s favorite travel tales. Those pervs! 😉


Did something similar ever happen to you? What would you do if you were in the same situation? But most importantly: I’m the only naïve person who didn’t know about these places?

 

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Read in: Inglese Tedesco

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