Warning for the readers:
This is NOT by any means a useful post on what I’ve learned during my travels. It is informative only to the extent of knowing what MAY happen to you if you have the travel bug and you’re back home. Other than that it’s just a chaotic mind on the screen. So feel free to skip it if you don’t feel like reading a very bad copy of James Joyce stream of consciousness. I won’t be mad at you, I promise 🙂
“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.” Albert Einstein
RELATIVITY. Beautifully explained for me by the master. In different terms of course, that’s what’s happening here: back to reality, far away from my “Parallel Universe”, it’s like I’m sitting on a red-hot cinder.
Since I’m back, time is acting in mysterious ways. It’s been a bit over 2 weeks and it feels like I’ve been here for 1 year already. No, more precisely: It’s like I never left my house in the first place.
Weird huh? I kept asking myself the meaning of this, I have one million questions on why I am experiencing this, but it’s damn hard to even start explaining it.
I was supposed to write about my coming back home as soon as I arrived, but I was completely STUCK. I didn’t know what to write (not that now It has gotten any better)
Eight months of someone’s life doesn’t sound much, yet 8 months of my life have passed by and everything changed for me, so why in hell I feel like I never left?
Now you understand my dilemma right? I sound very much like someone with a double personality right now!
To be completely honest, I’m writing this post but I have absolutely no idea on where it will lead.
So…didn’t I learned anything in the past 8 months? of course I did, but not only that. It’s not about the lessons you learn, it’s about the person you become. I’m still scrutinizing myself to understand what the hell happened to me. It’s a fact: I am different. A lot different from the person I used to be 8 months ago. But I can’t just put my finger on it yet.
It’s like if someone just asked me to put in 1000 words all the reasons why I am the person I am today from the day I was born: Impossible.
Funny thing is, I thought about this post for days, usually staring at the white screen for a while only to close it once again. And then, minutes before falling asleep, my mind goes wild and I find the exact right words. In English, no less! It’s a joke, my pre-sleep mind thinks in a beautiful perfect English, too bad no one invented a thoughts recorder yet, as the morning after I don’t remember a thing.
So today I woke up and I though: Ok you know what? screw my perfect beautiful words! I am no fricking perfect and I am allowed to put chaos and messiness on my own blog from time to time.
This is me now, so whatever.
That’s where the Chaos Theory comes in handy, well not really, but it gives me some degree of comfort to know that even Chaos has its own rules!
THE “ADJUSTING PERIOD”
I don’t think I’m the only one feeling disoriented, a bit out of place and confused after a long term trip right?!
Every single morning I STILL have those 2 seconds, when I open my eyes in the dark, and I need to focus to realize where I am at the moment.
Am I still in Thailand?
Am I in London?
Am I In Sardinia?
Am I in a random hostel somewhere in Asia?
No jokes. It’s just about 2 seconds of course, and as the days go by, I realize where I am faster, with the kind help of the scaring furry beast sleeping on my side 🙂
It’s very disorienting, but exciting at the same time. Because that’s exactly what I wanted to achieve when I left home 17 years ago!
But I have to admit it, every time I need to adjust to a new path (or get back to an old one) I struggle, and I find myself out of balance for a few weeks.
What I’ve learned is that adjusting to a total new situation is, paradoxically, much easier than going back to an old one. Or maybe is not that weird after all: with the new also comes the excitement, the discovery, the thrill. With the old comes the memories, the old feelings crashing with the new ones. And you need to adjust them within yourself but also with the people around you, that have remained exactly the same, whilst you feel like your have moved forward one hundred years.
Some people are happy to be back and stay for good. Some others, after such an experience, realize that there is no place like home and they are happily back to their usual routine.
Not me. Obviously.
NEW LIFE, NEW PLANS!
I knew about my travel bug of course, but I didn’t imagine it would have been so strong. I accept it now and carry on. It’s not been easy in the beginning, but knowing that this “stop” is just temporary, allows me to enjoy every moment of my life as usual.
I’m pondering my itinerary at the moment as a few things have changed since I’m back, but I will reveal my final/revised plans as soon as they are official 🙂
Let’s say that I’m enjoying the moment with a foot already out of my doorstep, heading towards this second leg of my trip with a big question mark of what it’s going to happen for the next few months. Scary again, maybe more than the first time I took off, but exciting at the same time!
Life is an adventure, so let’s the adventure begin again and see where it leads!
How was your coming back home after a long term trip? did you struggle to re-adjust to your old life or was it easy? Very curious to know your thoughts!