OMG! THE NIGHT has finally arrived!
I decided months ago that, no matter what, I was going to write about it.
I mean, this is something that happens just once in your life. Like a marriage (at least the first marriage lol), or having a baby… When something really beautiful is going to happen, something that is going to change your life completely. And you can FEEL it. It’s in your veins.
From tomorrow my life, as I knew it, is gone. Am I being melodramatic? well…whatever. This is how I feel.
I’m about to close a huge book, and open the first page of a new one. Where the plot has yet to be written
I still don’t know it, I don’t know the characters, the dramas or the romance that lies in it. And It’s so fricking exciting! And SCARING.
I can’t even start to tell how scared I am 🙂 and I don’t even know about what exactly. Probably scared of the unknown, where the unknown is not the foreign countries I’m going to visit, or the food and the different language… It’s something deeper, for which I still don’t have the words.
It’s like walking in the fog…and I can just feel the objects around me without actually seeing them. My mind is sooo confused…
I think about all the people I’m leaving in my “previous” life, and I cry, because I already know that I’m going to miss them like crazy. Not just physically, what “kills” me a bit is knowing that I’m going to miss them on a deeper level.
It may not be the case for every single person I know, but during my past years when I changed cities and lifestyle, I lost a few people on the way..
It’s just natural I know, priorities changes, situation evolves and it has to be like that. This is life. And even if you try to keep in touch, you already know inside you that it will never be the same again. And this makes me sad.
I also know, from my past experiences, that I’m going to meet so many new amazing people on my way. And on a trip on this scale I’m totally sure I will.
I don’t know the views i will admire and I don’t know the eyes, the faces, the new smiles yet. But I can anticipate the joy of every single encounter on the road. I’m impatient to experience new adventures and dramas (because without a bit of drama where’s all the fun??)…
I feel all this, but I am unable to understand it completely. I’m trying really hard, but it’s impossible. What do I know after all? Nothing!
I may even come back home crying after 1 month for what I know right now! Everything is possible.
This is basically the main reason I decided to go. I want a life where I wake up every morning without any idea of what’s going to happen next!
I hated the days that went by all the same… awaiting for the weekend and dreading the Monday mornings. That life doesn’t make any sense to me.
I’ll never be happy like that. I’m aware that after a while, even travelling become a routine in a way. When this will happen, I’ll sort it out!
For now let me enjoy this messy head, my heart beating like crazy, my skin shivering, my tears running down my cheeks and my smiles 🙂
This is what happens when a dream comes true!
My next post will probably be from Thailand, and I still don’t understand what this means exactly.Yeah. I’m getting CRAZY!!
Am I going to sleep? probably not much. But who cares…:))
This is one of the messiest post I’ll ever write in here, but I’m leaving it exactly like that on purpose. What you’ve read (if you got so far, congratulation for your patience!) is exactly what I wrote, without filters, or editing.
That’s just my messy mind on “paper”. And I like it.
I know I’m going to read this again with a bit of nostalgia anyway. Because I’m not going to feel like this forever!
My hands are freezing and I cant help but listen to Rod Stuart’s song “I don’t wanna talk about it”. Don’t even know why! But I’m glad I have a song to listen to over and over. It’s so stuck in my head that every time I’ll listen to it in the future, it will bring back all these crazy emotions!
Ok, I’ll stop before I’m going to cry again for the million time.
“SEE YOU” AGAIN IN THAILAND! 🙂
BIG HUGS TO ALL THE AMAZING PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN WITH ME TONIGHT, EVEN JUST WITH A MESSAGE OR A PHONE CALL! I FELT LIKE YOU WERE GIVING ME A WARM HUG IN PERSON AND THIS MEANT A LOT TO ME!
Sorry that I couldn’t contact all the people tonight, they are so many and everyone is so important to me, but I just couldn’t handle it! 🙂
I virtually hug you all, love you and you’ll be with me wherever I go during this year!